Twos jokes

Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀

Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."

What did the World Trade Center order from Domino's Pizza?

They ordered two large planes.

Why can’t the USA play chess?

Because they lost their two towers.

What has two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese telephone. "Wing Wing Arrow!"

I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...

I was two tired.

Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."

Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?

Option one: Horses can't speak at all.

Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.

A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"

Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.

Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.

Why are Americans so bad at Clash? They already lost two towers.

Why is America bad at Clash of Clans?

Because they already lost two towers.

Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.

I found two of the same Lego Duplo sets, so I called ‘em “Duplocates.”

Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

Two antennas got married. The ceremony dragged on, but the reception was excellent.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he gets a hole in one.

These two guys were texting each other.

Guy 1: How are you?

Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

Guy 1: ???

Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

Two (DYM 112)