Twos jokes
What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.
Why can't America play Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans?
They already lost two towers.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Memes
Guys only want two things in life
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.
What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?
The Two Towers.
Two antennas met on a roof and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
Jose and Hose B.
How many letters are in the English Alphabet?
Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they lost two towers.
Two sentence horror stories go.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? They were only two.
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.