It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
My black friend turned off the lights and suddenly disappeared
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number. We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden
One time little Johnny was watching tiktok and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly,so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework and when he was done he saw a spill on the table,he went to the sink to grab a cloth but when he came back it was gone.He went to his mom's room and saw a drank with the lable daddy's drank so he drunk it and said it's daddy's he wont mind and all day he was like the flash so he went back turned the bottle around and it said speedy and then he said OH GREAT HEVANS.
Don't pick flat chest because they will turn their backs on you twice
How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist? Just take out his brain and there you go!
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key
Being in a cage But nobody sees you
Being outside of a cage- but it's empty
Living and realizing you've been born into one
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**-
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. you have the key But you don't know how to use it.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section
Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.
ur so c emo the sun turn black
2 boys were at a lake and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady, one ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran, the boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, I ran away because I felt something get hard"
Which Book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible Plot Twist?
-The math Book📘🔢. Suddenly letters 🔠 appear in the calculations...
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?" Her mother smiled and replied: Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy tool the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so hight that we fucked without a condom!
Yo momma's arm-pits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
My teacher gave me an A in Physics that she tells me that it turns guys on .
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there
micheal jackson so white i turned blind
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. so when i was little, i met this girl. her name was Leah. we were besties for a while until i turned 13. then i asked if she wanted to date me. she said yes! but one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. i was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am
