Trys Jokes

Don't hate life, love it because when u want to live and try again in life, it's already too late. :(

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, What is the rudest thing you can say to them?

SHIT- UP!!! ( shut up)

have you tryed eating a clock.......its TIME CONSUMING

When you try to close an google ad because it was covering content, but it was covered by "ad closed by google."

Stephen Hawking trying to climb the stairway to heaven

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim and they had no life jackets. Doo Da suddenly started yelling, " I got one boys! '' as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way to large for him to get onto the boat and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock, but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da. Upon arriving at her house, they did rock paper scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell, again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, " I've been trying to call Doo Da and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, " We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we morn Doo Da today.''

Little Johnny got told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say : I know the truth they give you money so little Johnny says to his mum I know the truth so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone so when little Johnny’s dad gets home little Johnny says I know the truth his dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone so little Johnny try’s it on the post man and says I know the truth and the post man says come here son

Ok, so i know most or all of you guys hate me and thats fine. You guys most likey no me as a horrible person which idk where u would hear that from. And finally I am truly a good person u just need to know me better. The only reason I fought tina and jack was because i was trying to be nice to another guy. Then i relised what side i should have been. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just im sorry and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else i think all are nice people they just stick up for each other and thats what i relised. So if you still hate me its fine ill be leaving this app soon maybe. Hate makes me sad even though i use it but i know what was wrong i want to join the good side so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.

a skeleton walk into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me and if you try to insult me i have thick skin.

We r gonna crush u in the try not to laugh

Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef! - HEADASS! here's the real joke:

Imma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, u gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!

I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going. The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun...and so on."

So next time I was having a conversation with a girl I saw a red truck. So I said "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said "oh and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."

Why the actual f... is there drama on this website anyone can fake to be someone there not and no one will know the goddam difference I’m just trying to look at/make jokes and I’m getting shit from people saying “it’s too offensive” or something like goddam just take that shit somewhere else

One day little Jonny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there so he went in to use it and asked his mom what is that between your legs. His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened but with his dad. He asked his dad what is that between his legs. He said my snake. The same thing happened one more time except with his grandmother. Little Jonny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said my headlights. One night little Jonny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said grandmaw grand maw turn on your head lights daddy snake is trying to get into mommy's bush.

I watched the series of unfortanet events 4 times all the shows 4 times, : me -crying - I am trying to finish the rest then my brother comes in and says it is PG, ( parent guidens) after that.... My brother called me a bAby then he pushed me off my bed.😭