Donald Trump Jokes

For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.

Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.

Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks!

With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.

Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!

Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?

So he could trump that little bitch!

What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.

Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."

It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.

The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.

Trump is going too far.

He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.

Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?

A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?

Why did Trump decide to build the wall?

Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.

Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.

I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"

What did Trump say to Ukraine when Putin bombed them?

"It was Antifa!!!! And China!!!!"

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?

Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!

A little riddle...

Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?

...

Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?

How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?

Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.