Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.

What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?

Orange juice

What’s the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?

Answer: none, they’re both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!

i bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday- i dont know what he laced them with but i was trippen all day

Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”

Trump, Must I say more?

There is a new kind of jock strap, it only holds one nut. It is called a trump supporter.

When Trump goes to the beach he doesn’t use suntan lotion he uses Dorito dust. And it stays on for the rest of his life.

I was asking people who knew trump if he would win a second term . Stormy said " no way, he doesn’t have 2 in him!"

Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags „We have nuclear submarines which can stay under water for six weeks without having to resurface!“. Trump goes on „Six weeks? That’s nothing. I have the best submarines, they‘re underwater für at least three months!“. Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - „Heil Hitler! We need Diesel.“

Why can’t Trump go the White House anymore? Because it’s forbiden!

Everyone’s always saying they’re so worried about America’s big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I’m not worried about that…I’m worried about the idiot on the end of it.

Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”

What’s Trump’s favourite instrument A TRUMPet!!!

what do you say when trumps is still president during 2020? magic

if trump pooped in a toilet the toilet would die

The Trump cocktail .Take a large glass + fill it with a ounce of everything behind the bar . Top it with whipped cream and a cherry . Now for the hard part Finding a Mexican to pay for it .

What is trump’s favorite snack? Cheetos

(get it?) (he looks like a cheeto)

Trump is so orange that he makes the oompa loompa’s look white.

Wanna hear a racist joke…Donald Trump