Donald Trump Jokes
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.
"Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"
"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"
I'm shocked about Donald Trump escaping the transgender accusations. Trump is more talkative than any of the popular girls I went to school with! Not to mention Trump's tweets...
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?
Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?
He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!