Donald Trump Jokes
Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?
Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."
Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?
He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!
Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!
Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F.
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"