Donald Trump Jokes
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
If Trump pooped in a toilet, the toilet would die.
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?
"Yesssss Massager!"
Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?
He's white on the inside.
He's orange on the outside.
And then there's that stick!
Secret code that Bin Laden sent to Obama but couldn't decipher!
It was eloHssA OllEH!!
Why did Trump's brain cross the road?
Oh wait, there is no other side.
If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?
An orange tree! :>
There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"
Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says, "Buy me a drink." She replies angrily, "Get your own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink?" Trump responds, "The kind that will grab you by the p***y."
Yo mama so fat, Trump used her like a wall.
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.
As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...
Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"
Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"
Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on Trump's wall 24 hours every day.
Q: What is Trump?
A: An oversized oompa loompa.