My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
Why does Trump build a wall?
There’s such a thing as a ladder.
1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.
2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.
If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.
Welcome.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him.
The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where’s Trump’s clock?"
"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!
What did the left butt cheek say to the right?
"Trump 2020."
I thought fruit tasted good. I guess I was wrong.
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
Chuck Norris told those three men how to climb Trump's wall.
FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?
LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?
FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!
LONELY ORPHAN: :(
If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.
What's so wrong about Trump being in office?
He steals all the cats.
Trump's cabinet are like panties. Some crawl up your butt, some snap under pressure, and some actually cover your butt when you need them.
Are we supposed to submit jokes?
This website.
Also, how did Trump's wall let this website in?
Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
