Trigger jokes
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?
They’re jealous that autism can speak.
(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!
When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
What does a gun and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.
Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
What do you call a triggered white kid?
A school shooter!
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.
What hates men but would have no life without men?
A triggered feminist.
How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:
Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.
Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?
Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.