Travel jokes

I did a walk through and walk home from school, and I got home.

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?

Simple. All in the ashtray.

What kind of dreams do hotels have?

Suite dreams.

I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!

What has two left legs 🦵 but can’t walk? An airport.

How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.

What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?

•Terminal

Why did the fish cross the sea?

To get to the other tide! 😂 😂 😂

So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.

After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."

So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."

I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?

Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.

Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.

I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.

She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.

I went, I saw, I poop at hole. I make a portal.

Where does a crayon go on vacation? To color-ado.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Two guys are on a plane. One of the guys' name is Jack. The other is Peter.

Peter: "Hi Jack."

Flight Attendant: "You're going to hijack the plane?!?"

Jack: "No, my name is Ja-"

Flight Attendant: "Everybody stay calm! These two men are going to hijack the plane!"

Jack: "No, no. My name is Jack and my friend here is an idiot."

An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.

"I will see her in one week!"

A week later, he died.

Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF