What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
Transportation Jokes
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.
EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.
What did the bus driver say to the lady with one leg?
Hop on.
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.
Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.
Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."
Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
All then are bad.
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
