Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"
The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?
They say he had locomotives.
