Transportation jokes
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you."
Yo mama so fat, she can't go up the elevator; she can only go down.
When the airplane saw the Twin Towers, it said, "We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we can't go around it, guess we will go through it."
What is long and hard and is full of seamen?
A submarine.
Why did the rooster go to the train station to get the pizza?
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!
What do you call a fast boat?
Usain Boat.
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
Yo mama so fat, she sat next to everyone on the plane.
Yo mama so stupid that she thought Subway was a place where you buy subways.
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.
A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
Your hair line is curved like a moving train.
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.