Tragedy

Tragedy jokes

Dwarf

I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.

School Shooter

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

Body

(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏

Music

What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

Emo kid

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

Memes

Titanic

What did the titanic say as it was sinking?

I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.

Number

Why did all the numbers mourn 10? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.

Orphan

Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

Orphan

Teacher: "I'll call your mother."

Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."

Orphan

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell them to clap until their parents come home.

People

I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!

School shooting

POV there’s a school shooting.

American: First time, European?

European: Yeah, you American?

American: No, not my first time.

Priest

A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.

Tower

When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."

9/11

Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?

Yes, best comedy award.

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  • Death

    A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.

    B is for Basil assaulted by bears.

    C is for Clara who wasted away.

    D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.

    E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.

    F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.

    G is for George smothered under a rug.

    H is for Hector done in by a thug.

    I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.

    J is for James who took lye by mistake.

    K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.

    L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.

    M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.

    N is for Neville who died of ennui.

    O is for Olive run through with an awl.

    P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.

    Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.

    R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.

    S is for Susan who perished of fits.

    T is for Titus who flew into bits.

    U is for Una who slipped down a drain.

    V is for Victor squashed under a train.

    W is for Winnie embedded in ice.

    X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.

    Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.

    Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.

    Blonde

    What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

    Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

    Child

    How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?

    More than ten, apparently.

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