Toy

Toy Jokes

Priest

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.

Mum

Dog toys are getting out of control.

My mum's dog has a round bison bone.

Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.

Bear

Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?

His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.

*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.

LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!

Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.

Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?

Baptism

Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?

I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.

Baptism

You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.

That's why priests invented baptism.

Doll

Wanna play dolls?

I can be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.

Child

Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?

Because they're the ones making the toys.

Mall

Dying mall be like...

"Toys" were us.

Goodbye, kitty.

Dying Canes.

Robot

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

Ninja

LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?

Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?

Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!