You should watch Ryan ToysReview because he's not mean; he's a very nice boy.
Why do Chinese people hate Christmas? Because they make the toys.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
They actually come back.
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
What is an orphanâs least favorite childrenâs game?
House.
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
Why do orphans play with boomerangs?
Because they come back.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didnât want them.
Wouldnât want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they actually come back.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn around.
Why I turn around?
Infopka.com
You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.
I like Christmas.
Itâs the holiday where an old man breaks into peopleâs homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay đ
Shit, if somebody invades America, the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go.
We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets has become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out?
Hell, the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit, Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have Comedy Central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the United States. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
You're so fake, Barbie was jealous of you!
Father: Iâm taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you wonât be bored. Youâre going to need them there.
