Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between cars and grass?
They both have wheels, except for the grass.
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
If nine is a number, then why on Earth is not "ja" a number?
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the other contraction they know.
What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?
Matt.
Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
You you you like like like like my joke nooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
A car alarm went to the store.
Cashier: Hello.
Car Alarm: BMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWAAAMAAHAMAMAMAMAAMHMMMMMMMMAMAMAMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAMMAMMMMMMMMMMM BBEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BWAAAAMAAA!
Cashier: That will be 10 Dollars, sir.
People so dumb they think they're "transblind" like WTF, idiots!
#1: What are you doing?
#2: Watching a movie.
#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
Why are Bengalis so fishy?
Because the fish ate them on a daily basis.
Jokes...