Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.
Two guys are on a plane. One of the guys' name is Jack. The other is Peter.
Peter: "Hi Jack."
Flight Attendant: "You're going to hijack the plane?!?"
Jack: "No, my name is Ja-"
Flight Attendant: "Everybody stay calm! These two men are going to hijack the plane!"
Jack: "No, no. My name is Jack and my friend here is an idiot."
What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.
What is magic?
What can you do for a magic house?
Make it fly!
What is a magic school?
A school that can fly.
You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.
What is Alan Turing's reincarnation doing?
Getting revenge for what some people said about him being gay.
Your butt is so fat, I can remove 90% of beauty with a tissue.
What is black and white and sits in a tree?
A fridge wearing a leather jacket! XD
I am cool.
Hahahahahahaha!
An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill. What did he say?
Nothing, he was dead.
Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.
What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?
Loser.
Why do I call my dog a vibrator?
Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.
Why are you sad?
I’m depressed. I know black people could cry.
Cao ni man sha bi lalla shabi.
I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"
Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.
What does a nosey paper do?
It gets "Jalapeño" your face!