Worst Jokes Ever
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Joe: Why?
Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.
Jimmy: Knock knock.
Joe: Who’s there?
Jimmy: It’s the chicken.
Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?
Yo, dad went to get milk and still hasn't came back 10 years later!
What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
What cheese do monsters eat? Monsterella.
Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?
To get some plane bread.
Why don’t I like shafting?
It feels squishy.
So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!
I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.
She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
My friend: To get to the other side?
Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.
My friend: Oh.
Me: Knock knock.
My friend: Who's there?
Me: The chicken.
I get jealous when my phone dies.
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.