Worst Jokes Ever

Being gay must be a pain in the ass.

Credit to omnom.

A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."

"Then how about Karaoke?"

To which he replied, "I have two left throats."

Why are the Americans bad at chess?

Because they lost 2 towers.

I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!

Why did the snake eat a panda?

A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?

Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!

I made an orphan's website, but there was no homepage--because they don't have a home.

Eminem: "He don't even know his own father." Orphans: Dang, wish I could listen to that. Eminem: At least you have a rap God to call father.

Did you adopt your dog?

Errrrrrrrrr my spine doesn't work.

Eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

What’s Emos favourite bacci?

Cutters choice.

"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."

If they’re short and called Rose and born in June, they’re emo.

Every 911 joke isn't that good.

Well, at least not until they come crashing down.

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.