Worst Jokes Ever

Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.

I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.

Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).

She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008

Welcome to our Computer Show.

I'm Mars Argo.

Welcome to youtube.com.

If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, would he go to hospital or Curry's PC World?

Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.

The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.

The guys show up and the guards shoot them.

The guys die because the guards used real guns.

My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.

Ha Ha Ha

I thought it was funny.

Why did the cow steal an AK-47?

He was a mooslim.

There once was a Mexican named Quan. He never talked about Dose. What happened to Dose?

Quan and Treis raped him. Once Quattro came out, they killed him. They were too poor to afford food, so they ended up eating Dose and Quattro.

Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."

Trashy pig woman: "Why?"

Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Got any bread?"

The bartender says, "No bread here."

And then the duck says, "Got any bread?"

And the bartender says, "Didn't I just f***ing say that there was no bread here?"

And the duck says, "Got any bread?!"

And the bartender says, "You stupid duck! Or should I say d***? There's no bread here. Don't make me say that again, or I'll pin you to the wall with a nail."

So the duck says, "Got any nails?"

And then the bartender looks surprised, and says, "Of course I've got f***ing nails. Can't you see them?"

And the duck says, "Got any bread?"

And the bartender throws the duck out of the bar.

Why did the mushroom go to the party??

Because he was a fungi!

Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.

Me: But you are not standing:)

How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!

Lol, mum's gay.

So I was doing a puzzle, and I was getting triggered with it. My friend said, "It's puzzling why you're so triggered."

What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?

The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.

What do you call a wet condom?

A wet condom.

I hit my friend.

He's dead now.

I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!