Worst Jokes Ever
I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.
What’s a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country.
Exercise?
I thought you said "extra fries!"
-A minion (you may now laugh).
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?
They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!
What do you call people from Paris?
Parasites.
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
A boy walks into class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."
Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."
Then a girl walks in, and the teacher says, "And where on earth have you been?" The girl says, "Well, you see..." Then the teacher stops her and says, "Let me guess, on a peach hill?" The girl says, "No, on 2 big cucumbers."
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Yo mama so fat that if we cut her open, we could stop world hunger.
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourselves!
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
I am thinking of removing my spine.
It's only holding me back.