Worst Jokes Ever

Why don’t I like shafting?

It feels squishy.

So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!

Joe mama so fat that she is homeless wit you.

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

My friend: To get to the other side?

Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.

My friend: Oh.

Me: Knock knock.

My friend: Who's there?

Me: The chicken.

I get jealous when my phone dies.

Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.

A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"

The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."

I told a blind kid, "See you later!"

Your hairline is so jacked up even the barber couldn't fix it.

Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.

If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?

Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.

Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?

Boy's pants are half off.

I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.

But it would just crash and burn.

What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.

One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.

You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."