Worst Jokes Ever
The other day I lost all my crayons.
I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.
Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.
Yeah, not too bad at all, really.
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... "How many fingers am I holding up?"
What's between a wife and a husband?
A divorce.
A blind person walks into a bar.
Because they can’t see where they are going.
There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
What is the difference between a dog and a cat?
I don't know either.
Why do you think I asked you? ;)
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.
I went outside to catch some dog, but I mist.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?
Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.
Katie Price's answer for everything is darkness.
She isn't a dull person, but playing eye spy with my little eye with Harvey is just way too easy.