Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?
Nothing.
Trump.
I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
My wife told me, "Don't buy 1 gun while on your trip," so I decided to buy 2 guns instead.
I like my women like I like my wine.
Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.
People love you.
Don't die.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.
Which is the worst place to sit at in a wedding?
Between 2 buttcheeks.
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
When a plane is having turbulence, it’s just the pilot shaking the steering.
A blind guy walks into the door of a bar...
That's it... that's the end of the joke.
Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).
She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008
So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"
Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?
Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.
A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...
Rapist: "Get into the fucking van!"
Kid: "mi gniog ot tell ym momy"
Rapist: "Fine" (Grabs a white kid instead)
What kind of bus is yellow? A school bus driver.