Worst Jokes Ever

What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?

His left shoulder.

What did the porg say to the porg?

Hi Porg.

You're on worst jokes ever. You thought I put up a good joke? HAHAHAH!

For his sake, I hope that heaven is wheelchair accessible...

What is the best thing about gay people?

They're gay about being gay even though they're gonna get shot in the USA. Wait, that rhymes!

The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.

Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?

Because it says "B Positive!"

Haven’t they switched him off and then back on yet?

What lives on the forest floor?

Forest Gump.

A man attacked me with cheese and milk. How dairy!

My son.

Stephen Hawking tried to install a free version of Windows 10.

Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?

Me: He could feel it in his bones.

Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!

Heheh ;3

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.

What if "balloon" was spelled "balooon?" Thatf

How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.

What has no legs and a human body?

A human with no legs.

What's the difference between a human and a tree?

A human can chop down a tree.

A tree can't chop down a human.

I would create an orphan website, but you need a homepage to do that.

How are babies and watermelons similar?

They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.

I aced my poker test...

My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...

A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...

Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...