Worst Jokes Ever
Can I get a glass of water? I will give you anything you ask.
Really, then give me a pond of water.
I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.
What do you call a bad bull?
A bully.
Really bad penis joke.
Welcome to our Computer Show.
I'm Mars Argo.
Welcome to youtube.com.
There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.
The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"
Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.
Which is the worst place to sit at in a wedding?
Between 2 buttcheeks.
I like my women like I like my wine.
Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
I once went to the bar for a pint, but the strippers there didn't have that much breast milk.
Rapist: "Get into the fucking van!"
Kid: "mi gniog ot tell ym momy"
Rapist: "Fine" (Grabs a white kid instead)
What kind of bus is yellow? A school bus driver.
What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Why did Anna give Carson a blowjob?
He made her.
What do you call a dog with no tail?
A tail-less dog.
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?”
Why can’t he just speak plain English?
What time does the man go to the bank?
8 AM.
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.
2 people bought plants.
3 people bought shovels.
1 person yelled.
3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.
1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁♀️🤦♀️