Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the cow go to space?

To get ice cream!

Science took us to the moon, and religion took us into a skyscraper.

How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?

I gave my friends some buttons.

Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.

My abortion.

So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?

Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"

When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!

What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.

What do [you] call Tyler Brown?

A spaz.

This is funny.

It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.

Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?

Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?

Because it got stuck in a crack.

I farted. LOL.

What's the difference between a priest and a zit?

A: One waits until you're twelve to cum on your face.

Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).

Wat?

What did Allan say to William, his sister, when he stepped on his toe? "OWWW Mitosis."

I asked a Chinese girl her number, she said "Sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight." I said, "Wow!"

Her friend corrected her by saying, "She means: 666-3629."

There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.