Worst Jokes Ever

A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said, “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”

If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribble.

W ffseetyhggghjoi.

What is tyyyyyyyyu?

What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house? Is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today.

What is playing with you?

Armless child: Can you give me a hand??

Me: Ok.

"Yo mama's so fat, that I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing today!"

What time is it when you get mad 😡 at school? Time to calm down.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They don't know what home is.

Why did the orphan cross the ride?

I forgot.

Yo mama so hot, she can fit in a mug.

What is a nut that says, "What is your favorite name?"

A magic nut.

I wish Stephen Hawking could've just walked—oh wait, never mind.

Two sticks only make a fire.

I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.

If you're Canadian in the kitchen, then what are you in the bathroom?

European.

"Fucking cracker and you smell like fish!"

When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support.

What's a cow's favorite war?

World War Moo.