Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

He was outstanding in his field!

If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid,

I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.

When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"

What did the baritone say to the alto?

Nothing, you couldn’t hear him.

"You're the bomb"—a compliment in the USA.

An argument in the Middle East.

What's small, stupid, and has no dad?

Ben.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?

The tap can run.

I killed a Wood elf yesterday. The guard charged me with... mer-der.

Looks like he never charged up fully.

Was he under insurance claim?

Stephen Hawking trying to climb the stairway to heaven.

Jake Adkins watches James Charles.

What's green and furry?

Fiona from Shrek.

I wanna see Stephen Hawking on nitrous.

What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?

Eileen.

After all these walkers, you still walk over me.

What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?

Pant suits.

Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?

The baby you just feed nails to.