Worst Jokes Ever
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
Why can't blondes make ice?
They forgot the recipe.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One, if you throw it hard enough.
Why does the egg crack? Cos it's sad.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dyslexic.
Dyslexic who?
You.
"Hi, my name is Robert. I have no life. Even my PS4 username is gay lil_bama."
Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."
So I said, "But which one?"
I'm in the alagba association. Call 666-666-666 to join the gang. It's free and free kills duidui.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.
I have a trans friend.
He is in a polyamorous relationship and would be straight if they had a dick.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma bum crack!
There was a news story the other day where a magician disappeared. He was like "At the count of 3 I will disappear aight...Uno, Dos," and he disappeared without a trace.
Balalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
Water?
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.