Worst Jokes Ever

I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.

For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.

There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."

Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.

Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?

You'll Never Walk Alone.

At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.

What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?

R. I. P. Roll in Peace.

Rory Burrows is dyslexic.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.

I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"

What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?

Lester Piggott's cellmate.

How do astronauts have a party?

They planet.

That's caketasic!

Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.

The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.

"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"

Sally: "You..."

Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"

Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."

Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"

Johnny: "A pig."

Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "

Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"

Goofy ahh jokes below.

Why did the cow knock over Johnny?

Because the cow felt like to dumb.

Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101

Lyla Annabelle Reeves - STL Missouri - Timber Tree.