Worst Jokes Ever
There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"
She replies with, "These are my headlights."
He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."
So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."
Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"
I confessed to my crush in preschool. Unfortunately, she rejected me. I just carried on and got right back to teaching.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
Why can't orphanages play baseball?
Because there's no home to go to.
Yo mama so Karen that when she went to hell, she asked Satan for the manager.
Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagan's FIFA team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan.
Hi sisisissisisisisisis.
What do they call Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson's son? The Pebble.
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
Your mum is so fat and so dumb that she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni, and they only got plane.
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
How does the non binary kill white en Amy?
They/them.
Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.