Worst Jokes Ever
This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
Your hairline is so far back, your barber didn't know where to start.
My mom picked my major.
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
First bite: Oh my God!
Second bite: Oh my, God!
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?
They’re jealous that autism can speak.
(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).
Why do ableist people hate autistics?
They're scared they'll never be special enough.
What do you call a German that can not see?
A Not-see.
Why do girls only stay in odd groups of friends?
Because they literally can't even.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.