Worst Jokes Ever

Wiener.

How many thots have I bullied?

Three. The rest are dead.

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

You are the gayest.

my grandfather cant a woman's taco anymore cause his balls fell off from getting to many tacos

I love Steven Hawking's stand-up comedy!

God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.

Why go to sleep because he was bossy?

Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.

Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.

In America, mom births you.

In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.

Why was the orphan so famous?

Because when they asked him go big or go home, he only had one option.

When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?

Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."

What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?

Slim Shady.

Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!

Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you look like Honey Boo Boo!

Roses are red, violets are blue, Tory shirts step in doodoo.

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.