Worst Jokes Ever
Why was the cookie angry? Because someone ate the chips!
What did the dog say to the cat? Ruff!
Average bee is 50x smarter than the smartest flat earther.
What is Osama bin Laden singing right now?
*cue the little mermaid* "Undaaa the sea, undaaa the sea"
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
That’s right, I have my own category😎
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.
I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.
Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.
Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!
Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.
What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.
Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
A self-raising flower.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they won't know where home plate is.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
No one misses them.
Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.