Worst Jokes Ever
14 girls asked me to go out today!
I was in the ladies' toilets...
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
What is harder than steel?
My cousin at the family reunion.
Your hairline's so far back, even Rosa Parks refused to sit in the back; it went all the way there itself.
Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.
On September 11, Gemini ordered three pepperoni pizzas.
One came alone, one was late, and the third went the wrong way.
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...
Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.
Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.
And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.
There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...
There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.
So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"
Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.
I think DJT has FTD.
Question:
Did you hear the one about MAGA people?
Answer:
It "sucks" just like they do!
I'm not saying you're annoying.
But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.
I'm the type to blow up half of my house to kill a spider... and still miss.
Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.
People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.
How to fart:
Let it go, let it go.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
Take a few steps back like your hairline.
What type of chip can orphan's not eat? The Lay's Family Size chips!
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
The parents remember 9/11.