Worst Jokes Ever
Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.
I'm alive, baby!
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.
I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!
Yo mamma so old that when she farts, we have to dust again.
I ate a man because he was dead!
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
HELP! HELP!
TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
The British Society of Psychics' annual convention had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances!
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
"Mommy, mommy! Are we janitors?"
"Shut up and pass me the mop."
When the teacher says she'll call your parents but you're an orphan.
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
If Carlsberg did wheelchairs...