Worst Jokes Ever
I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."
Why can orphans never go on field trips?
Because they can’t get a parent signature.
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
Your hairline goes back to the Middle Ages.
I saw your license. It said you're 15.
I checked your face. It says you're 50.
Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.
Niall Devine, clown.
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
Your Nan is dead.
Abigail Brynn Welch is not funny.
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
Why do cows have babies?
They moo-ved together.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
Where did the orphans go when the orphanage blew up?
Everywhere...
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
My dick harder than stone, man.
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
Helen Keller def faked it.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"