Worst Jokes Ever

What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?

Lester Piggott's.

Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.

Your mom is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.

Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know what home is.

My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...

What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"

Dad: Honey!

Mom: What?

Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.

Mom: WHAT!?

Children: *staring*

What do you call a dipshit?

A Charlie.

It's too long, sorry. >:)

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Kick the chair out from under them.

The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!

Me: My therapist says I need those to live.

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_

Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”

Son: “To the playground?”

Mom: “No, to the morgue.”

Why do all orphans have an iPhone X?

Because it doesn't have a home button.

I'm jealous of the people who never met you.

I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.

Have you met Bofa?

Bofa deez blind kids!