Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No? Neither did he.

I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.

Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.

Mushroom.

Oh, you're jealous now.

My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"

Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.

Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?

It was called "S & N."

I called my dog 5 miles.

Today, I fawn over my miles.

I smell up dog in here.

"What's up, dog?"

Nothing much, how about you?

How did the toilet react when it received a gift?

That was so pot full (thoughtful)!

What did the female dog say to the mirror?

Hi, bitch!

I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂

The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

What is the difference between babies and dogs?

I don't eat dog parts.

What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, he just waved.

Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"