Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans look at a house for so long?
'Cause they never had one.
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"
61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69... mouthwash.
My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
Prankster pranks.
Fake lobster in the toilet. 8:00 a.m.
Prank phone calls. 9:00 a.m.
My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.
They both went extinct.
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
What goes up stairs but doesn't move? Stairs! Laugh now!
You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.
All I have to do is go to the Africa section.
What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?
One didn't go in the closet.
R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.
Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.