Worst Jokes Ever

G@y 👌

How did Steven Hawking die?

He blew a fuse doing an update.

Stephen Hawking died because he did a wheelie and unplugged his charger.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I don’t know.

To get to the idiot house.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

The chicken.

Two cows in a field.

One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"

The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"

Also me: "Throw it."

What makes a software developer feel rich?

Their cache.

Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?

Because there was no chemistry...

Evan, mom hot?

Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.

AKA, you're up for adoption.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

What do you call a Mongolian swindler?

A Khan artist.

MY NAME IS JEFFFFFFFF!

¿Qué hizo el cartero enojado?

Estampó su feeeeeeet!!!

I'm dead inside.

What is the best type of bath bomb?

A toaster.

My diet:

Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...