Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What is a skeleton's favorite color?
A: Blue stop signs.
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.
I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.
You guys have very baaaaaaa-d puns!
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
Dark jokes are like food, not everybody gets it.
Stormtroopers, I guess they never miss, huh?
My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
After I am dead during my funeral service, I want someone to play my favorite song by Boy George and Culture Club, "Church of the Poison Mind."
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She didn't have any arms, remember!
Why does Sally have no friends? Because she is obese.
Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house.
Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.
Bob: usudgbhdkb g
Ham: usudgbhdkb g
What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?
A penis always goes in the hole.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.