Worst Jokes Ever
What did Steven Hawking say?
Nothing.
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because I unplugged his life support to charge my phone.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?
"Use the horse!"
Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
Sup?
Two men walk into a bar. You’d think at least one of them would have ducked.
Us: haha penis.
Korea: That sounds like a park name.
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know."
Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
The king took a shit on the craps table at the casino.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.
What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso!!! LOL XD XD XD