Worst Jokes Ever
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He went in the rain! 😂😂😂
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
Yeah, Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah.
I gave her everything. She took my heart and left me lonely. I've been broken, heart's contentious. I won't fix, I'd rather weep. I'm lost and I'm found, but It's torture being in love. I love when you're around But I fucking hate when you leave. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide, if you're ever gonna, let me know (yeah). Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad and low, yeah. I'm sad and low, yeah.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
I am having a shit and there[sic] nothing else to read.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.
She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered a minor.
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.
Like and comment if you get it!
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
I like my women like my coffee—ground up and frozen.