Worst Jokes Ever
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
What did one plane say to the other?
"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."
Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.
I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"
He says, "What's it to ya?"
So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"
Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
Why did Obama marry Michelle?
Because he's into chicks with dicks.
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl?
HO, HO, HO!
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.