Worst Jokes Ever
We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
Why did the clock out the library?
It tocked too much!
Good night.
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
What time is it when it gets dark out?
Bed time.
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to a chicken.
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Cow says,
"Cow says who?"
No! Cow says moo!