Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
Science flew us to the moon.
Religion flew us into two skyscrapers.
What type of bees give milk?
Boob-bees.
Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"
I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...
I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.
The bus was white.
Why am I so sad?
People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.
In a white van.
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.
About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."
I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."
Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?
A quarter-pounder with cheese.
Why did George Clooney like egg jokes?
Because he had good taste.
"Jingle bells, Osama smells."
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
I’ve two dogs and two cats, and they are all Democrats. They want a handout everyday.
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.