Worst Jokes Ever

Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?

Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.

If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?

I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.

I just cut everyone.

Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.

I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.

But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!

Balls deep.

Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.

Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.

Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the United States that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library?

Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle. The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieve political and social goals.

Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?

Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"

I had a job at a banana factory. I got fired because I threw away the bent ones.

Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?

Well, they aren't.

Why?

They aren't repeated customers.

What do dentists call their x-rays?

Tooth pics.

Why don't gays shop at sports authority?

They prefer Dick's.

What is Spiderman's favorite rice?

Uncle Ben's.

Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.

Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?

Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.

Accounting Chapter 12: Long-term Liabilities (FULL TEXT)

Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.