Worst Jokes Ever
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They're both Headless.
Two TV antennas got married. The church ceremony was terrible, but the reception was fantastic!
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain!
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Why tie when you can knot?
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.
I said that I have been ill.
I wonder why the baseball was getting larger and larger, then it hit me.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
Keep calm and curry on!
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
I tried to catch fog yesterday...
Mist.