Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.