Worst Jokes Ever
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Die.
Die who?
Me, I want to die.
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.