Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

A: To hide up cherry trees.

Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?

A: Giraffes eating cherries.

What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?

Little Seizures.

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    • What did Michael Jackson find on his bedsheets?

    Billie's Jeans... Hee hee!

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    • We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.

    We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.

    There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.

    When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"

    How do you give a redneck a circumcision?

    You kick his sister in the jaw.

    So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"

    Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.

    A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.

    I hate these double standards.

    Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.