Worst Jokes Ever
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
Want to know why some astronomers are gay?
It’s because they want to be in Uranus.
Yo mama is so fat, it takes two warlocks to summon her.
Where do cows keep their historical cultural artifacts?
In the mooseum.
Yo mama is so fat, a rogue shadowstepped her and got a loading screen.
Chuck Norris doesn't ride horses.
Horses ride him.
What was Osama's favourite food... yer nan?
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
What’s my favorite Islamic Holiday... 9/11.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
Why did Sally fall out the window?
She was pushed.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming.
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.
Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."
Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"
"So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."
"Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.