Worst Jokes Ever
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
What do you call a magic owl? Hoo-dini.
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
I have a ton of work to do... A skele-TON.
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
My name is Gunter.
Yo mama so ugly, Bloody Mary handed her an application through the mirror.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist then.
What is the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a big plus!
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Josh Williams
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
Don't you hate it when you do the dishes, but then you realize it wasn't the dishes?
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.
Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.